Untethered from the past

One of the most amazing things about being a human is that we are always changing. As I mentioned in my post about getting to know yourself, life requires a commitment to meeting who we are each and every day.

Something I have noticed throughout life is that many people identify as former versions of themselves because they haven’t taken the time to meet to be intentional about who they want to be. Our past experiences build up like plaque on our psyche. We then attach to old stories and let those stories shape our current realities.

For example, if you were overweight in middle school and teased for it, there is a part of you that may always feel like the chubby kid in middle school. You might see yourself as unattractive and tell yourself that the opposite sex doesn’t like you. Meanwhile, you’ve changed entirely. You are no longer that person anymore, but you still tell that same story.

This post is all about freeing ourselves from the past, so we can become the people we want to be today.

If you find yourself attaching to old limiting versions of self, first show love and compassion for those former versions of self. These past selves may have shaped who you are today, but you still want to choose who you want to be without these attachments. Once you give love and compassion to these past selves and stories, you can learn the lessons they were here to teach you and then let go.

Integrating and understanding the lessons of the past is crucial. Time doesn’t heal. Taking the time to actively understand and release unhelpful stories from the past does.

Your past experiences happened to teach you something. For example, maybe while you were chubby in middle school, you are now attractive. Through these trials in middle school you may have learned to find your strength and validation completely independent of your physical form. This is a gift as many humans are overly identify with their looks, while maybe you don't. Everything happens for you, so spend time sitting with these past stories before you move on.

My housemate who I’ve fallen in love with here on Kauai said to me the other day, “I want to learn the lessons from the past, but then remain untethered to it.” Untethered to it. I have now become obsessed with this idea. If you have read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, a gorgeous book, then you know what this concept is. Being untethered is simply the freedom to be who we are in the moment and live each day anew. We aren’t burdened by the past or even the future, we are untethered in the now.

So many of us remain tethered to the past in unhealthy ways. We hold on to previous relationships far past their expiration date, we hold on to parts of ourself that don’t serve us, and we remain tethered to stories from our life that happened like 15 years ago- like being chubby in middle school. This holds us back from living our juiciest life that ultimately manifests when we are being the highest version of ourselves in the now.

If find yourself living in the past and from the past, just be aware of how and when. All change begins with self-awareness. Sit down with your journal and explore how you are still identified with old stories. What new stories would you like to write?

With a fresh slate you can arrive presently in the here and now. You can choose who you want to be from a powerful, intentional place. You can be curious about who you want to be in this present moment. The choice is yours each and every day.